“Adventures with the Toddler” Series
ADVENTURES WITH THE GOOMBAH’S
CHAPTER 36 This is a story I wrote for the kid things. If you have toddler peoples who like stories, maybe try it out on them. f you don’t think it sucks. DINKY DONKEY AND THE JOURNEY THROUGH THE WOODED GLEN There’s an old tale about a little Donkey that lived in the woodland grove.…
ADVENTURES WITH THE GOOMAH’S – (FORMALLY “THE TODDLER.”
CHAPTER 35It’s been some time since I’ve written a post about the creatures that came into our lives and stopped us buying the good wine, having intercourse and being able to eat at the nice places.I do admit the fact we had another child kind of ruined the whole toddler theme and I went into…
Adventures with the Toddler – Chapter Thirty-four: It’s a Trap! pt 2
I know some of y’all doubted the smarts of the toddler in its trap setting. I thought the trap phase was over. HOWEVER!!!! I went to take my seat tonight and discovered this clever trap before it claimed me. Please note the blue cord. The blue cord is attached to the door handle and the…
Adventures with the Toddler – Chapter Thirty-three: It’s a Trap!
The toddler has taken to setting traps. I have no idea where this came from and don’t know when it will end. I have tried asking it to stop, pleading for it to stop, but so far – my cries have fallen upon deaf ears. Its traps aren’t as sophisticated as say a Rocky Mountain…
Adventures with the Toddler – Chapter Thirty-two: The Coronavirus Diaries
When I was a moody teen – sitting in my dark bedroom for days on end writing manic poetry and masturbating incessantly, isolation was fun. Stuck in an apartment with the wife and two little children – ain’t like those heady days. Not just because I’m asked if I’m going to have a poo or…
Adventures with the Toddler – Chapter Thirty-one: The Corona Virus Version (For those still playing along)
Well it has been a long time between toddler tales. Most of that is my fault because time shakes itself from its worn tether and buggers off from me. So let me fill you in as a best I can before I start a new travel blog. That’s right folks, the family is off to…
“Travelling with the Toddler” Series
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART SIX (The final part)
Yes, alas, it is the final installment in the Traveling with our toddler blog. London was a great trip and all too short. It all began after changing out a nappy at Kings Cross train station. Changing nappies in public bathrooms is always a fun experience, especially if it’s a particularly potent one. The stares…
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART FIVE
Well. It has been eventful. We caught the train from Bordeaux to Paris. Bordeaux I really liked. The transport system is fantastic and if one was to miss a tram, one could skate to their destination on the dog shit lining the streets. Our hotel was good. I mean it was 3 stars by whoever…
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART FOUR (The piece I didn’t want to write)
Little person or a little shit? I didn’t want to admit it, but we are dealing with what is known as the “terrible twos”. My lovely little kid has become some demon child who only knows how to say no. No. That’s the word. The word is no. No. All the time no. Like being…
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART THREE
We left Saint Cyprien today and caught the train to Bordeaux. Any wine lover must make the pilgrimage and this is one I embraced with an open heart. I am humbled to ensure all is up to standard for you wine drinkers. Someone has to do it and it’s a sacrifice I accept. We left…
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART TWO
Just to give fair warning, I’m really bad at keeping a diary or updating anything. We caught the train South to Bordeaux a few days ago. What a bloody city!! I think we will have to go back. The morning before we left Paris, we spent looking for Bae, without any luck. I couldn’t leave…
Traveling With Our Toddler – PART ONE
Traveling with the toddler I knew it would be a bit of a challenge and I wasn’t wrong. But it’s also been hysterical.3 days in Paris and the toddler already knows more French than me.She is great at making friends with waiters and barkeeps which is very helpful. So many people kiss her that I’m…
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Adventures with the Toddler: Picture Edition
Today the toddler decided she was coming to work with me. So she got a bag and packed an old pair of shoes, gum boots and a toy lobster. She put them beside my tool bag and lunchbox, convinced she would be heading out to work. It broke my heart having to tell her I…
Danny Matier 